The Mayans weren't completely wrong. 2012 didn't end it all for everyone - but it took a large chunk of my world away.
Two marriages didn't happen, one didn't work out, we lost an aunt and a mother and I lost the love of my life. Its hard for me to live with my own words sometimes - but it's almost impossible to live in the moment or even in the near future. These are the times when you live anywhere but in the present. You live in the happy times in the past and in the fantasy world of 'hoped' times in the future. Time heals all and that...yeah sure. But what about now. There's no bandaid for this. Just an open festering wound that will take its time to heal.
Difficult to see...always in motion, the Future is.
Two marriages didn't happen, one didn't work out, we lost an aunt and a mother and I lost the love of my life. Its hard for me to live with my own words sometimes - but it's almost impossible to live in the moment or even in the near future. These are the times when you live anywhere but in the present. You live in the happy times in the past and in the fantasy world of 'hoped' times in the future. Time heals all and that...yeah sure. But what about now. There's no bandaid for this. Just an open festering wound that will take its time to heal.
Difficult to see...always in motion, the Future is.
As hard as it is to believe right now, things do work out eventually. And when they do, you find it hard to believe that you could think they wouldn't.
ReplyDelete2011 was the last such crappy year for me. And yet, somehow 2012 could not have happened otherwise.
At times when the present seems unbearable, maybe embracing the happy times of the past and hoping for happy times in the future will get you through the present.
ReplyDelete