Over Diwali my cousin Nipa asked me "If you think about your past relationships and missed chances, what's the one you regret and what's the one you could have a do-over with". Most of the people in the room had their answers ready. I had to think for a while..but I think my answer is the truth for me.
My answer was I don't have a single regret and I don't want a do-over. She was surprised and so were my other cousins. Well, my reasoning is that I don't have a regret over anyone because the decision to end a relationship would be one that I've thought about and wouldn't have taken it lightly. Do-overs - well if I didn't try hard enough or didn't get to know the person that well, that just means that over the first, second, third or even fourth impressions there was either nothing there to pursue or it was a one-way street. Either way, it doesn't make any difference. About the present, I'm with someone who is best for me as I am right now. Life rushes on ahead and there'll be road bumps and sometimes dead ends. What are you going to do anyway?
The only time to live in is the present and perhaps just a tiny bit into the future - the past is the past, the only way you're going to change things about the past are through solace, forgiveness and in your mind and imagination.
Well put. Another thing is, the past is what makes the present. If we had a do-over, maybe the present would be completely different, and not necessarily in a good way.
ReplyDeleteJust to clarify, regret meant someone you feel like you wasted your time with, not a relationship that you ended. And a do-over is someone you never persued that now thinking back, maybe it would have been worth exploring things with. Mehul, that is great that you have neither. I also really like that you said "life rushes on ahead" - so true! Its good to live in the present.
ReplyDeleteWell, in my opinion there's really no waste of time. You learn something about yourself or the other person that you're not comfortable with. Or you learn a few things that you REALLY like about yourself. And again..there must've been SOME reason you didn't pursue! :)
ReplyDeleteyou're rubbish!
ReplyDeleteThis talk follows a similar trend...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ted.com/talks/philip_zimbardo_prescribes_a_healthy_take_on_time.html
personally, i think everyone has their regrets though one may choose to accept that fact and live with it without complaining...