So I just walked out of my teaching assignment and it was dismal at best... GOD ! I was so not prepared to teach...well, that's not entirely true. I did read up and solve the problems and thought that I had it all worked out well on paper and in my head..apparently not.
I started off well, had the classes attention and then I blundered in one problem. That's ok...I'm not perfect. I made a mistake but I didn't panic. I looked at what I'd written on the chalkboard and then I panicked !! I was completely lost..I had no clue what came next. I turned around, looked at the class and I guess they could see the big "?" on my face..it sucked to see that look on their faces.
I asked them to give me a moment and I ended up taking several. I still didn't get it. All I could do was apologize to them. I guess this is the first time it has happened to me and so I blundered all over the next 20 mins remaining in the section. Ultimately I could only apologize to them..not because I was sorry that I couldn't explain it to them - but because I wasted their time and ultimately their money. I looked at the problems after the section and I could solve every one of them in a matter of seconds...
It was embarrassing, humiliating and extremely humbling. I wasn't not prepared for the recitation; I just wasn't prepared to blank out.
I didn't teach much today; but I learned so much....
sounds like stage fright almost! i liked what you said alot at the end...that you didnt teach anything, but you learned so much...
ReplyDeletewhat did you learn?
ReplyDeleteI learned that I actually have a responsibility to the kids; didn't matter that I am forced to teach them. I learned that you can be as prepared as you can and sometimes things just don't go ANYTHING like you hope they would. Finally I learned that once you get through the initial humiliation/embarrassment/shock/surprise, you realize that you are probably going to do it sometime again..you can take it in your stride or panic more the next time you see it happen. Basically..prepare just a bit more!
ReplyDeleteWhat class do you really teach?
ReplyDeleteI am sure your class must be real smart to understand that you did not know what was happening.
anyway these things happen and that is how we learn. I am proud that you have all the guts to admit to your class. This is how we learn and live.